Feeling Stuck? Here’s What I’ve Learnt…

Why do I feel like I’m playing ‘Stuck in the Mud’ way more times at age 29 than I ever did at 9? And it’s not fun this time around either. It’s not fun feeling stuck. I don’t know why that was ever invented as a game. Kids are weird.

I wanted to write about this topic because I reckon we all walk around thinking that everyone else’s life is totally sorted out and crease-free. But here’s a secret… It’s not true! We can probably blame social media for that. Who ever posts pictures of themselves during their darker hours? But we all have them – the not-so-happy-snappy moments – and we keep them hidden most of the time, because we live in an age of rejecting our shadow, denying that part of ourselves that exists when if we were to just actually embrace it and bring it to the forefront, we could not only be not happier, but we could be whole… And we could encourage others to do the same. Equals a happier generation. If we were to just be okay with our shadow, the light that we all crave could move in easier.

Though I’ve been working on it, I’m still guilty of running from the ‘baddies’. And it may not completely look it from the outside, but feeling stuck has been a big f**k-off shadow for me over the last few years that I admittedly have been trying to get as far the hell away from as possible! I’ve lacked clarity and focus, and driven myself crazy wondering what the next steps are, what I should be doing, how I should be doing it, why I’m still standing on the ground over here when that person is flying all the way up there… So then I try to jumpstart my arse into gear by doing everything at once in the hope that it will all magically fall into place, thinking IT HAS TO BE NOW, worrying that I’m missing some kind of boat… Because of course I have to do something… But the more I try to unstick myself and pull my feet from the mud, the more stuck I become. Ahh life, you little shit, you.

And it’s a killer. Knowing you have so much inside you, knowing you’re not reaching your potential, knowing you could do so much more… But having no idea how to get there or move forward. S.T.U.C.K.

If you relate to any of the above, here are a few nuggets of wisdom I’ve picked up along my road of personal development that have helped me to put down my laptop before I throw it across the room and breathe a little deeper:

Maybe you’re stuck for a reason! Timing is everything:

I went to see an astrologer on my yoga teacher training in Thailand last January who told me that sometimes we are supposed to feel blocked and can’t always see the next steps. We have to let go and trust that everything will happen for us at the right time. In the mean time, it’s about finding balance – not forcing or rushing anything, just generally following what feels right. I read an article the other day which confidently asserted that you should force yourself into action. I have to disagree. For me, if it’s forced, it’s not going to give you the results you want. At the same time, I’m not saying to lie on the sofa eating pizza watching Friends until inspiration hits. Keep taking baby steps forward in the direction of your goals and dreams (listen to your gut, not your ego), keep yourself happy and healthy, meditate, practice yoga, and find ways to connect with yourself so that ideas can flow to you more freely when the time is right. I made my mind up the other day to give myself a whole day off of thinking about anything career-related, because I’d been trying to force ideas that weren’t coming. Results from the lab: by consciously giving myself that break, ideas naturally floated in.

Feeling stuck/resistance means you’re getting closer to having a breakthrough:

This little gem makes me happy! Resistance is… Ok? Mud, my fwend? So try not to fear your resistance – often the more resistance you feel, the closer you are to experiencing a shift! Your resistance is there to test you. It’s your cells growing and pushing you to a new level that you can’t quite see yet. Keep going!

The Saturn Return – for my fellow 29 year olds:

So one of my yoga buddies told me about this recently after I’d been talking to her about how I’ve found age 29 to be quite a difficult year in the sense of not really knowing myself, what I really want from life or where I’m going. I looked it up. The Saturn Return (anyone else think that sounds like a horror film set in space?) occurs at age 29, the bridge between the twenties and thirties, and marks a real transitional stage of life. Lessons that haven’t yet been learnt are often learnt the hard way, difficult events may show up and throw us, and we are, of course, faced with the ‘what the hell have I done with my life so far?’ question. It’s a funny phase where a lot of life re-assessing takes place. Yay! We’re all mental!

See the full article here: https://astrology.richardbrown.com/ast_age29.shtml

You may be blocked energetically:

This one goes a little deeper and could be a whole different blog for another time. Briefly, one or some of your chakras, the energy points in your body, may be blocked and unable to move energy through your body adequately, which could explain or at least be related to why you may be feeling stuck. This will be linked to an emotional problem you’ve suffered, perhaps in your childhood or later. My advice here is to have a Reiki session so that you can identify where you are blocked and how you can move forward. I also highly recommend the book ‘Eastern Body Western Mind’ by Anodea Judith, which has really helped me to identify my blockages and what I need to work on. (I’m enrolled on a Yin yoga and Chakra course for the whole of November so I’ll be able to give more advice on this in a few months.)

Sometimes we feel stuck in life. Most likely, it’s for a reason. Maybe we can allow ourselves to enjoy the mud for a little while longer. Become Mud Lovers. Have a little roll around in it. (I know you want to.) Maybe the kids have got it sussed after all – when the time is right, something will come along to ‘unstick’ us, and then we can pull our feet from the ground and shoot forward at full force. Maybe if we cheat and run ahead before it’s our time, we’ll slip over more than we want to. Keep taking those baby steps, be kind to yourself, honour your resistance… And trust that all is coming.

All Those Little Things

I’ve come to learn, more and more over the years, that it really is the little things in life that count for the most. A smile to a stranger, a chocolate on the pillow, the twenty seconds it takes to write ‘Happy Birthday’ on a friend you haven’t seen in ages Facebook wall.

The little things that are so easy to not bother with, but can make a lasting imprint on someone’s memory. It’s easy to not make the effort to do things you think no one will even notice, and it’s true, they won’t notice you haven’t done them. But going that extra mile and giving that little bit more, can make a world of difference. A small gesture can ripple out and have all sorts of positive effects – then somehow make its way right back to you.

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I admit – at a time when I felt really stuck in life, I fuelled my days with minimum input. I was lazy in my work, feeling little passion for anything, more interested in leaving early and coming home to dinner in front of mind-numbing TV shows than putting my attention into anything really worthwhile. I didn’t know how to move forward with my life. Honestly, I just wanted the money. (Did I just say that out loud…) That’s another blog for another time. But my point is – you get back what you put into life. You can’t expect anything to change if you don’t make any changes. I was putting in nothing, and getting nothing back. I’m crap at maths, but I know that zero + zero = BIG FAT ZERO.

Sometimes it’s scary to make a big change! So start small.

Since I started teaching yoga back in March, I thought about what little touches I could bring to my classes to make my students happy. Some weeks I leave small gifts at the end of the mat. Most weeks I read a poem or a positive quote at the end of the class. Once I started thinking about how I could brighten up other peoples’ lives, feeling passionate about helping others, I started to get back what I was putting in – without that ever being my sole intention. I love this example – a few weeks ago, I brought some chakra-healing tea bags to leave at the end of my students’ mats. Before the class had begun, one lovely girl who was leaving the country gave me a thank you gift. I opened the gift at home, and inside was a beautiful box of tea bags.

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My discovery is this. By switching the focus off of you, and thinking about how you can serve others, even in the smallest of ways, things really do start to change in your life. And they come back to you tenfold. Opportunities arise, doors open, and you are put in touch with all the right people, as the universe recognises you are doing your bit to move it in the right direction. Don’t do it for the purpose of getting anything back in return – do it because you genuinely want to.

What can you do today that will make someone happy? Start small. Because sometimes it’s those little things that make the biggest difference.

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