A couple of weeks ago, as some of you know, I was accepted to be a writer for Elite Daily, after having submitted a piece of writing that was approved. I was quite chuffed actually. I did a little celebratory dance and everything. Three articles later, all of which were denied, I wasn’t feeling very chuffed at all.
Confessions of an English student: I didn’t even know what ‘Elite’ meant. I looked it up. According to Google, it’s ‘a select group that is superior in terms of ability or qualities to the rest of a group or society.’ Interesting. Think they’re superior, do they? Huh? Huh? HUH?! (I’m feeling bruised at this point okay.) So following the emails of rejection and experiencing all of the anger and the denial indicative of a breakup (though the relationship was very short and apparently one-sided), I finally rested at acceptance. Here’s why.
Skimming through other articles on the ED Facebook page to see where I’d gone wrong, all sorts of eye-catching titles jumped out. I have to admit, I didn’t feel too fussed by KFC releasing an edible nail varnish that tastes like fried chicken, or whether One Direction were to appear in an episode of Family Guy… But for a second I did find myself seriously considering whether to research and write about Kendall Jenner’s latest red carpet frock choice. ‘This is what people want! Surely an article like that will get me accepted!’ Then I heard the brakes in my head screeching woahhhhh, come back.
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with those kinds of articles, or actually that there isn’t some great, thought-provoking, soulful material posted on Elite Daily. I’m also not saying I won’t try again. The point I’m trying to make in all this is that, although the rejection hurt and was instantly translated into feeling like I wasn’t good enough, I had to stop and tell myself – I am good enough. Because aside from doing my best (what more can I do?), I’m not trying to be someone I’m not, or write with the sole intention of gaining popularity – I’m writing about things that resonate with me, hoping it might resonate with a few others too and make a difference, even if my ripples are small. I’ve tried in the past to adapt myself to suit someone else, and that didn’t work out too well for me. It never does. So at the risk of writing a post that just sounds like a rant, I actually just wanted to use this experience to make a statement about the importance of staying true to ourselves. It really is so easy to let our egos get caught up in temporary whirlwinds of excitement that will earn us lots of likes and thumbs up and winky faces (all very valid displays of cyber admiration I might add), but if what we’re trying to achieve doesn’t come from a place of authenticity, the impact won’t last long and the cracks will show. If our ego gets a stroking along the way well okay, that’s a very nice cherry on my refined sugar-free cake (if it’s a week day), but that should never be anyone’s main agenda.
I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe I didn’t go wrong; maybe I’ve gone right, in following my gut and choosing to spend my time staying real with my small-time blog over licking an elitist’s bumhole hoping that 70 million people are watching. (Couldn’t resist.) So for now, to all ten of you who are reading – thank you – I’m going to remain with my two feet on the ground and continue on the path that feels authentic to me. Kendall Jenner-free.
(I probably won’t send this one to Elite Daily.)